Ok so here goes, Im sure Im far from the only person saying this but I am going mental and need to chat to someone, anyone
A couple of weeks ago I started watching Glee, I’d heard about it and as I love music alot I thought Id give it a go, like most girls my first thoughts were how cute Finn was, or Puck off course, but as Season 2 started (I bought Season 1 and 2 complete so could watch straight away) I got drawn into the story of Kurt, worrying for him when he was being bullied, crying with him when he cried, and being blissfully happy when he found Blaine.
After a while it became all about Kurt, I became literally obsessed, and I realised with a sinking heart that when I hadnt really ‘looked’ at Kurt before, I’d fallen in love with him !
I should mention I’m 40 years old I’m not a child and I’ve never been in love before, I’m probably insane, but I cannot help how I feel. I know Kurt’s not even real, but his character is just so incredible, how brave he is all the time, and how loved he is; by his dad, by Blaine and probably by the other Glee members. It doesnt hurt either that Chris Colfer is just so amazing looking.
I have a picture of him on my mobile and on my nightstand, which makes me think of James Dean, Elvis Presley and a young Marlon Brandow (I’ll try including it here) everytime I look at it I think how beautiful Chris is in the image, and then I feel incredibly sad for doing such a stupid thing as falling for someone so unobtainable.
I’m even shutting out normal guys who are keen on me because I dont want to know, theyre not Kurt.
I had to do this post because I’m so sad every day and my heart is breaking. I havent told anyone I know for fear of ridicule, I mean its sounds ridiculous, I’m in love with a tv character, and nothing will help with that or change it.